Monday, January 29, 2007

Church Bulletin Bloopers


· Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds
will be used to cripple children.

· The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are
not afflicted with any church.

· Evening massage - 6 p.m.

· The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him
their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.

· The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.

· Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 p.m. Please use
the back door.

· Ushers will eat late comers.

· The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical
accomplishment.

· For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery
downstairs.

· The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.

· The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will ing, "Break Forth Into Joy."

· During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good
sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.

· Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will
then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."

· Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.

· Stewardship Offertory: "Jesus Paid It All"

· The music for today's service was all composed by George Friedrich Handel in
celebration of the 300th anniversary of his birth.

· Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

· The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church
basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

· The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to
the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as
usual fell upon her.

· 22 members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha
Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, The Lord
Knows Why.

· A song fest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.

· Today's Sermon: HOW MUCH CAN A MAN DRINK? with hymns from a full choir.

· Hymn 43: "Great God, what do I see here?"

· Preacher: The Rev. Horace Blodgett

· Hymn 47: "Hark! an awful voice is sounding"

· On a church bulletin during the minister's illness: GOD IS GOOD Dr. Hargreaves
is better.

· Potluck supper: prayer and medication to follow.

· Don't let worry kill you off - let the church help.

· The 1997 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.

· Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.

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