Forbidden Fruit

Welcome

Forbidden Fruit

"Whenever your kids are out of control, you take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to God's kids.

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.

"NO WAY!" And the first thing He said to them was:

"Don't."

"Don't what?" Adam replied.

"Don"t eat the forbidden Fruit." God said.

"Forbidden fruit? We got forbitten fruit?"

Hey, Eve...... we got Forbidden Fruit?"

Single Ad

This has to be one of the best singles ads ever printed. It was listed in the Atlanta Journal. SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Call (404) 555-1234 and ask for Daisy, I'll be waiting.... Please scroll down
l
l
l
V


Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta
Humane Society about an 8-week-old black Labrador retriever

HEAVENLY INCENTIVE PROGRAM

At the ungodly hour of 4am, a tall man wearing a triangular hat, white
wig and shirt and Revolutionary War-era outerwear

parades onto the Today Show

stage and introduces himself to a busy television technician.

"Greetings. My name is Washington.

George Washington, and I'm here to meet Matt Lauer and Katie Couric.

God sent me here to be interviewed.
He said you have the largest morning audience

in television and that's
exactly what I need."

"Sure," the technician said, as if he was talking to a mad man.

"Matt and Katie are in makeup. They're in those barber chairs over there," he said, anxiously trying to avoid eye contact.

Matt and Katie rise from their chairs to greet the first president.

"We received an email from above. He said you'd be here with a very important message," Katie said.

"You are correct, Miss Couric. I have perhaps the most important message

ever delivered and I want to deliver it on your program."

"What's your message," Matt asked.

"It's God's message. I am just a long-dead delivery boy.

God is very unhappy with the state of the world.

Too much hatred and war.

Too much lack of caring.

Too much uneasiness, fear and poverty.

And because He wants to do something productive about it,

he's developed a

Heavenly Incentive Program."

"Heavenly Incentive Program?" Katie asked. "HIP?"

"It certainly is. And to give it the impact it needs, God assembled a task force of great leaders with great minds -- Winston Churchill, Mohammed, Mahatma Ghandi, Pope John II, Anwar Sadat, Confucius, Golda Meir and Simon Bolivar. Each of us

will appear on television the way people recognize and trust us -- not in

contemporary three-piece suits and power ties."

Katie chimes in, "If you don't mind my telling you this,

Mr. Washington..."

"Please call me George."

"OK, George, I just wanted to tell you that you look cute.

Who did your wig and your cap?"

"One of Louis XIV wigmakers.

The French have a flair for fashion."

Katie continued, "And how is Martha?"
"She's well."

Matt asks, "George, you've explained the obvious need for the
incentive program but how does it work?"

"It begins with a list of tasks that must be done -- volunteering in hospitals and hospices, mentoring children and young adults, accepting church missions,

caring for the elderly and infirm in nursing homes and in their residences,

guiding addicts back to good health and productivity, donating and raising

funds for worthy organizations,helping the homeless, feeding the poor,

pleading for widows and orphans, and showing love to your fellow man.

"When you've performed these good deeds,you go to your house of worship on your Sabbath and confess your good deeds (not your sins) personally to God.

For each daily good deed, you earn one angel point in your heavenly account.

When you've accumulated 10 angel points, you can talk with any soul in heaven

for ten minutes.If you save 30 points, you can talk directly with God

for five minutes.If you accumulate 50 points, you can tune into a

3-hour heavenly concert, my favorite."

"Who performs in these concerts?" Matt asks.

"Simply the greatest musicians who have ever lived. Louis Armstrong, Dizzy Gillespie and Gabriel on horns.

King David on harp. Isaac Stern, Jascha Heifitz and Fritz Kreisler on violin. Liszt, Chopin, Duke Ellington and little Eugene Kapinski on piano."

"Eugene Kapinski?

I don't think I ever hear of Eugene," Katie said.

Eugene died when he was eight.

He was a prodigy known only to God. And when he first performed in Heaven,

Liszt and Chopin embraced him and called him a genius. There are a lot of unrecognized talented souls in heaven."

"Sounds terrific," Matt said.

"I love the positive spin," Katie added.

"It all comes down to humanity," the former President said. "As I wrote in my copybook in the seventeen hundreds: Labour to keep alive in your breast that little spark of celestial fire -- conscience. It's all about conscience and personal pride,

doing good deeds and getting closer to God."

"General," Katie said, "You have a noble plan but how will our audience know

you're not an actor?"

"Simple. At the end of the show, I'll meet Al Roker and a cameraman on

the roof of the General Electric Building.

They will watch me jump and float away. And the next thing you know,

I'll be on Live with Regis and Kelly. She's a cutie-pie and

I just hope Kelly lets me sneak a word or two on the air."

-- Ron Gold
Ron is a Heartwarmer Gem and lives in West Orange, New Jersey. He enjoys writing inspirational stories,

mostly about his youth. He is the creative director for two major motivational agencies.

Thank You All For Visting

and for the sweet comments to my posts.

Remember the first rule of holes: When you're in one, stop digging.

Have a Great Day.

Nance

(special thanks for graphics by: Cherokee Rose from Foki)