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Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions!!

Why did God make mothers?

1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.

2. Mostly to clean the house.

3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?

1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.

2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring

3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me.

He Just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?

1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and

everything nice

in the world and one dab of mean.

2. They had to get their start from men's bones.

Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother & not some other mom?

1. We're related

2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.


What kind of little girl was your mom?

1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.

2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess

would be pretty bossy.

3. They say she used to be nice.


What did mom need to know about your dad before she married him?

1. His last name.

2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook?

Does he get drunk on beer?

3. Does he make at least $800 a year?

Did he say

NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?

1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.

2. She got too old to do anything else with him.

3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?

1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to

because dad's such a goof ball.

2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection.

She sees the stuff under the bed.

3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has

a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms & dads?

1. Moms work at work and work at home & dads

just go to work at work.

2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.

3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power

'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep

over at your friend's.

4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better

without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?

1. Mothers don't do spare time.

2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?

1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside,

I think some kind of plastic surgery.

2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd dye it, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?

1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean.

I'd get rid of that.

2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know

it was my sister who did it and not me.

3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the

back of her head.

WHEN YOU STOP LAUGHING SEND IT ON TO OTHER MOTHERS!

Don't Step on the Ducks

Three guys die together in an accident and go to Heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven -- don't step on the ducks."

So they enter Heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place.

It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although

they try their best to avoid them,

the first guy accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest woman he ever saw.

St. Peter chains them together and says "Your punishment for

stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this "ugly woman!"

The next day, the second guy steps accidentally on a duck, and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing, and with him is another extremely ugly woman. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first guy.

The third guy has observed all this and not wanting to be chained

for all eternity to an ugly woman, is very, VERY careful where he steps.

He manages to go months without stepping on any ducks,

but one day St. Peter comes up to him with the most gorgeous woman he has

ever laid eyes on ... a very tall, tan, curvaceous, sexy blonde.

St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.

The guy remarks, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to

you for all of eternity?"

She says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck."

Former Education Secretary William Bennett attended a modern
wedding where the bride and groom pledged in their wedding vows
to remain together "as long as love shall last."
Bennett said, "I sent paper plates as my wedding gift."







When sending your wife down the road with a gas can,

it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer.

Mom, I'll always love you, but I'll never forgive you for

cleaning my face with spit on a hanky.




Being happy doesnt mean everything is perfect.
It means you’ve learned to look beyond the imperfections.
~unknown~

I Wish you
Rainbows to follow the clouds,
Beauty for your eyes to see.
Courage to know yourself
and faith so you can believe.
Patience to accept the truth.
And love to complete your life
If not...........
Then I wish enough chocolate
to get the through the rough times!!!!

Last Thought:

Guilt is concerned with the past.

Worry is concerned about the future.

Contentment enjoys the present.

Thank You Again for visiting

and for the sweet comments to my posts.

Hugs To You All,

Nance